Devils and Demons We're Fighting: A Tale of Two Wolves

Does the devil exist? Honestly, I don’t know. However, I’m sure most of us have seen some things or heard about something which made us think… know… that evil exists. An observation I made is the connection between those things that shock us enough to acknowledge evil and the small struggles each of us have daily. It was Nietzsche, ironically – and I will explain why in a moment – who said that we ourselves are our own greatest enemies. To give a wild example: If someone asks me if I will kill another person, my immediate answer is no, but the truth is that everyone is capable of killing, given the right circumstances. To tone it down, what I’m trying to say is that each of us experiences what we feel to be negative emotions every day. Some more than others perhaps. We feel insulted, angered, annoyed, depressed, anxious, you name it. And it is not just the feelings but also the thoughts. Some friends and I had a conversation about random thoughts rising in our minds, and that some of those thoughts would made us horrified at ourselves wondering why we would think such things. I must emphasize that nowhere in the previous paragraph did I once bring other humans into the equation. Our greatest enemy is ourselves; it is all in us as Nietzsche himself, at the end of his life, proved with his mental illness of depression. In other words, when we encounter other human beings, what comes together are two highly charged energies. Within each of us is a struggle to keep some Thing under control. The Taoists have an interesting story about two wolves that live within the hearts of every human being. The one is dark, and the other is light, good and evil, and the one which is strongest is the one you treat the best. From this little story there is a lot one could meditate on. The first thing the story starts with is, not two angels or even an angel and a devil, but two wolves. Wolves, whether you treat them well or not, are dangerous animals. One of the things that stayed with me from school was a science class in which the teacher explained that both alkaline and acidity are equally dangerous at its extremes. In comparing our being with wolves, the Taoist masters tells us that absolutely everything we do (think, say, listen to, etc.) must be done with caution. Another master said, “be as wise as serpents”. Why? Because the way to hell is paved with good intentions. To get to the main part of the story, the strongest wolf being the one you treat best. Here there is a bit of a dilemma though. Once again, wolves, whether you treat them well or not, are dangerous animals. At first when I heard the story, I thought I should make friends with the good wolf. Then, the more I thought about it and the more I came to the realisations mentioned, it slowly came to me that I had to make friends with both wolves. The reason for this is because the wolves are us. This is another reason why this story resonates with me, and I hope you can also appreciate it. In some other belief systems, humanity is seen as inherently evil and, somehow from there (which is since the beginning), we started playing the blame shifting game. The devil made me do it. The truth is that there is both good and bad in us and we must make a choice each day as to what we are going to do and say, but mostly how we are going to manage (not control) our confused and overactive minds. Why it is that our minds seem to be focusing more on the bad (and much more easily) than on the good, is as relevant as the existence of a literal devil. “Hell”, says another philosopher, Jean-Paul Sartre, “is other people”. This is the reason why we need to, must, make friends with both wolves, why we need a management strategy. Yes, we are all ticking time bombs and even more so when we encounter each other. We are, however, made for relationships with each other, everything from a random meeting with someone you will never see again to your deepest relationships with family and friends. There is much that can be said about that last thought. In the end, it is up to us to decide how we will manage, keeping in mind our intentions, our mental health, our abilities, our fears, what is important to us, and a whole list of other things. No one can decide for us, the wolves are our own. Try to be kind, everyone is struggling. May the One God, with many Names and many Manifestations, be with you.

The Golden Rule - How should we act towards Others

The Golden Rule is known to most of us in either its negative or positive form: Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you, or vice versa, do not do unto others as you would not like them to do unto you. One interesting fact of this “rule” is that it appears in the Holy Scriptures of many religions. It sounds simple enough and yet, I doubt that any of us understand it in its deepest meaning. Those who meditate on it finds it a constant lesson in what it means to have empathy, be compassionate, and love all. Even harder to put into practice. A while ago I watched a program on Showmax about a guy who investigated the environmental impact of cattle ranches and the meat industry. At one stage he visited a so called “Green Ranch” where they claim that they raise and slaughter in an environmentally friendly way. Here he had a conversation with the little girl of the owners, and she said something to the effect that she shouldn’t name the animals as ‘you know, they’re going to become meat.’ Then he had a conversation with her mother who said: ‘We really love the animals, that is why we do it.’ It wasn’t said aloud but the implications of these two conversations immediately hit home: love them? Therefore, we slaughter them? I was wondering what the reaction of this mother would be if a close friend of their family said – ‘I am going to slaughter your daughter in front of you because I love you.’ Now, I am far from trying to convince anyone of right or wrong. You decide for yourself. What I am trying to say here is that living the Golden Rule is much harder that it sounds on first hearing. I was thinking, rethinking, and debating its meaning over the years and I’d like to present a few of these ideas to you. One of my earliest thoughts on this was regarding how we can help beggars who stand at traffic lights. Should we give them money, and how much, or not? The argument is that they will just buy alcohol and drugs instead of food. My first reaction is that doing that is between them and God as we did our duty, but then we are not really helping. So okay, perhaps not. We give them food then, right? (Many stories are told of angry beggars who just threw away the food but let’s go with it for a moment.) So, what food do we give them then? I’ve heard many people proudly saying that they bought them bread and milk. It is exactly here, however, where the Golden Rule problem comes in, because the next, inevitable question is my mind is: Is that what you would like to eat? Dry bread and a litre of milk? Back when I first had this thought, KFC was my favourite fast food or, if my mom was cooking the Sunday lunch (Boerekos né) – a large plate full of rice, potatoes, pumpkin, cream spinach with mushrooms, and chicken. Imagine your favourite food. Getting back to the Golden Rule with that in mind – why then give a beggar bread and milk? My next Golden Rule thought was about helping others. From the outset, don’t get me wrong – if someone falls into a swimming pool and is in danger of drowning, by all means jump in and save that person. But, when it comes to ideas and choices with which we disagree and in which we imagine there to be danger, it becomes a little more complicated. There is a saying that goes ‘you can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink.’ Still, we think it is okay to take the proverbial old lady by the arm and help her over the road without first asking her if she wants help in the first place. I hope you’re able to keep up with me here: as far as belief systems and ideas go, what we all want, I believe, is to be heard and understood. I always laugh at preachers who chase away Jehovah’s Witnesses when they knock on the door. Can it be annoying to have your resting time interrupted? Of course. But then the preachers should remember that they themselves wants to be heard the moment they get onto the pulpit. Here the Golden Rule connects with that other well-known verse: ‘You have two ears and one mouth, listen more, and speak less.’ One last thought. The Golden Rule is clear in saying that we should do to others what we want them to do to us. We know, however, that we all want different things in life and that things like love (think for instance about the book – The Five Languages of Love) and respect means different things to different people. Now, if I do something to someone else which I would like them to do to me, but they do not like that thing I am doing to them… then I’ve shot myself straight in the foot with this very same Golden Rule. Now what? Then I heard these interesting words said in a conversation between two rabbis: ‘It is true that the verse says that we should love others as we love ourselves, but for a deeper understanding of love we should love others as they would like to be loved themselves’. Perhaps the beggar previously mentioned loves bread and milk after all, perhaps the beggar absolutely hates the food I think is the best. And perhaps the best way to live the Golden Rule is to ask the other person what they would like, instead of assuming that we know best because of what we like. May the One God, with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you all.

The Difficulty of a True Spiritual Life

If you think you’re so enlightened, go live with your family for two weeks. - Ram Dass

There seems to be an unconscious misconception that the spiritual life is limited to certain days of the week, perhaps some festivals, or certain specific practices such as meditation, Scripture reading or prayer. I do think that this might be more under the older generations and that the younger generations are increasingly changing their views, with many identifying as Spiritual but not Religious (SBNR). Then again it might just be a bias on my side as the change in views increased rapidly at least since the 1960’s (Ram Dass, who I quote above and who died in late 2019, grew up Jewish but became a Hindu around 1967). Of course, changing one’s views does not necessarily means that one suddenly lives a more spiritual life. What does it mean to live a spiritual life and why do I say this is difficult? The quote by Ram Dass is one of my favourites and one I always try to keep in mind. That is because the spiritual life might start with going to church on a Sunday or mosque on a Friday or personal meditation and prayer rituals in the morning, but after that the question becomes this – If those moments do not become clear in your public life, while you driving, spending time with family or doing your job, then what was it for? The spiritual life becomes difficult the moment you move out of your sacred space and into contact with other human beings (or any other beings for that matter). It is easier to stand with your eyes closed and hands in the air on a Sunday morning than it is to keep calm with traffic on the way home. We don’t even have to take it that far – most of us start gossiping or judging the moment we set foot out of Church (perhaps even while worshipping). It is easy to sit in front of your Scriptures and light a candle or incense stick and feel all tranquil, of course that is if you could leave the warmth of your bed in time, then one gets to work, and you must remember to smile at the annoying co-worker. A true spiritual life will be an important part of every decision you make, of every action taken, of every word said. It might not be possible to absolutely control your thoughts but what your reaction with your thoughts is should tell you something – do you stop it, or do you entertain it? “If your religion does not change you then you should change your religion,” said Elbert Hubbard. Rabbi Hillel is reported to have said that the Golden Rule (Do not do unto others that which you would not like them to do unto you) is the whole spiritual practice and that the rest of what we read and believe is only commentary on this rule. In other words, if you pray or do any kind of spiritual practice and you believe that what you believe is the only truth, but you give in to every desire and let your ego reign supreme with no compassion for most other people, then you have not even begun to live a spiritual life. All this can sound very discouraging, but honestly, I am trying to encourage you to pull up your socks and get serious, whatever your chosen path might be. That does not mean there can be no fun in life, but it does mean that we pay attention to how we are having fun. It is going to be difficult; you are going to fail on an almost daily basis. At the same time the alternative is to live an unexamined life and that, said Socrates, is not a life worth living. Fulfilment comes when we are constantly working on ourselves. “I want happiness” said someone to a Buddhist monk, “Take away ‘I’ as that is the ego, take away ‘want’ as that is desire and what is left is ‘happiness’”, answered the monk. Now that we are parents, my wife regularly says, “You know what, we should just forgive our parents”. There was a time that I was angry with my dad on an almost daily basis, and it did not help that he was a pastor. Then I became a dad, never mind the fact that I became a husband, and I realised that I must always watch myself. The moment I cannot answer in a soft manner, I cause hurt. The moment I react in an irritable manner, I cause hurt. Sitting down to meditate or pray after that makes me feel ashamed, so much so that I sometimes feel that perhaps it is better to just give up. I know, however, that the moment I stop working on myself I will do even worse. I hope and pray that, if I stay on living a true spiritual life, as difficult as it may be, one day my children will be able to forgive me. Rabbi Hillel ends his declaration on the Golden Rule with these words: “Now go study”. Whatever religion, spiritual part, or philosophy you follow – study hard and then act in compassion. I encourage you. May the One God, with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.

Without Consent

Gender based violence (GBV) is a very real, extremely sad problem in South Africa. Although men can also be victims of GBV, it is an unfortunate fact that men are often the instigators of GBV. This is one of those topics that has been debated at all levels of society with many men on the defensive saying that “not all men are the same”. As a member of the male species, I acknowledge that I have used this line before myself. However, there are a few things men do not understand, things that women try to explain. Now, I do not presume that I understand the feelings, emotions, or fears of women. In fact, it is highly likely that I will never be able to fully understand, but I can understand enough to try and make a difference in the minds of other men. Perhaps if I can explain a point or two, and men can hear this from another man (even though this sounds wrong because I think real men should not have to hear it from a man to act right). The first point is that, however true it may be that not all men are the same, how should women know which of us are good men and which of us have less than noble intentions? This is such an obvious point that we must wonder why we did not figure it out on our own. The last time I told my wife that I am a good man and thus proof that not all men are bad, she replied as follows: ‘I know you are good, but if you go for a run and there is a woman jogging in front of you, does she know you are good? Is there any indication, anything at all, that shows her that you are just out for a run? The only thing she knows is that you are a man and the connections in her mind, consciously or unconsciously, are that of danger. So do me a favor when you run behind a woman and cross to the other side of the street.’ The obviousness of this is ridiculous. Most of us want to be seen as good people, and thus it is in our nature to assume that others are good. There are studies that show that people, in general, easily trust other human beings. Yet, we know for a fact that not every person we pass on the street is a good person and that we have no idea what skeletons they hide behind closed doors. Now, on to the second point which concerns specifically that area of GBV known as sexual harassment. Men have this idea in their heads that they can whistle at women whenever they want, call her “sexy” in public, or force themselves on her in private. How do you explain the concept of consent to a male who does not feel uncomfortable when anyone else refers to him in a sexual way? For men it is almost a case of pride, a false sense of their manhood. I absolutely hate the hypocritical conversations where men explain how angry they felt when they found out their girlfriends cheated on them, calling the women all kinds of filthy names, while in the same breath they will brag about all their own “conquests”. This is nothing short of childish and I am ashamed that I was not always free of this in the past. Consent hit me like a brick in the face one evening when my wife and I were on our way to enjoy our date night. Stopping at a traffic light, a person walked up to our car, sprayed some fluid on the windscreen, and proceeded to ‘clean’ the window with a dirty piece of cloth. The feeling of anger was so great that I thought I was going to explode, and my wife had to use all her persuasion to keep me in the car, while reminding me that the person was probably on drugs. This feeling of absolute helplessness soon became a feeling of utter humiliation. In that moment I understood some small, small part of how a woman must feel forced into a situation where a man does not know how to behave himself. May the One God with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.

Choosing Peace Against Racism

 “I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.” (Mother Teresa)

 

There is nothing that makes me angrier than racism in all its forms and any bigotry that goes with it, but does fighting against it help in any way? Initially, I wanted to name this post “Choosing the Battle Against Racism”, but then I remembered the above quote by Mother Teresa, and I realised that, in all honesty, I am tired of fighting. So, I prefer to use the word ‘peace’ or the term ‘to stand up’. ‘Peace’, in this instance, mean knowing when to speak and, when that happens, to always remain calm despite the burning anger. One way of standing up is what I am doing now – to write about my feelings about racism, sharing it with you, and to hope that I will make some form of positive impact wherever this post goes.

I cannot remember exactly how my thoughts around the subject developed, but I remember speaking out against it even as a child, the more my awareness of it grew. Through the years I had many conversations with both racists and non-racists (including those who honestly believed they were not racist even though they talked in a derogatory way about people who do not look or think like they do), as well as with both blacks and whites. As a white Afrikaans speaking male, I also experienced racism, not only from black racists against me, but also from whites who believe that I agreed with them simply because I looked like them.

In all these conversations I never once heard an argument in defence of racism that made any logical sense at all (so much so that I must think carefully exactly what to say here and what to leave out, otherwise this post will be way too long). I have heard white people telling me that most blacks are criminals because most prisoners are black, forgetting that not only are there more blacks in the country than whites but also things like poverty, and the fact that it is many times whites who are the leaders behind big crime syndicates. I have heard black people telling me that they hate all whites for what they did to people in the Apartheid years, to which I answer that I agree that what happened in the past was not right and I do judge my ancestors for their part in it, but I do not understand why I am being hated because I was not there.

Racism come in many subtle and open forms but the most ironic are those people who try to use the Bible to justify their racism. One of the worst I ever heard, is that the Bible says black people cannot be human as they do not have a crown on their heads (afr. kroontjie). I still have a standing and open invitation to anyone who can even point out the verse in the Bible that says this and believe me, I have searched for it. Others argue that God told the Israelites not to mix with other nations and that means that interracial marriages are sinful. Careful reading of this part, however, reveals that it was not that God had a problem with the mixing but with the fact that other nations did not believe in God. My own arguments include that there is a big possibility that Moses, one of the greatest biblical figures, had a black wife and that the woman spoken of in the Song of Solomon was a black woman. It is possible to argue about interpretation for hours, but I do not believe that it is possible to justify hating any race by referring to the Bible (or any other Scripture worth the description of Holy).

Now, in South Africa there is a mistaken belief that only whites can be racist. I do see this racism from them towards blacks on an almost daily basis. This includes refusing to speak in English to someone who can obviously not understand Afrikaans, or being arrogant, unfriendly, and uncooperative because they are not being helped by a white person. I sometimes have an immense desire to apologise to other races on behalf of those from my own race while at the same time I take it as a personal insult. However, blacks can also be racist even though Apartheid was the creation of white people (and before any white person smiles – this is nothing to celebrate). Being in an interracial marriage I have been mistaken for a European by my fellow black South Africans, but this is not the worst – one manager of a restaurant also called me pale.

Is it so difficult to believe that some Afrikaans men see no difference in race when it comes to love? Believe me, there are more of us than you would want to believe, especially the younger generation. Then again, here is something to remember about the older generation of white males - many of them were too scared to start a relationship with black women due to the times they were living in. Stereotyping is as much a form of subtle racism as it is to be openly racist.

I am not suggesting that we forget (or get over) the crimes of the past or ignore the ongoing injustices being committed on all levels of society. I am suggesting that the older people get over their fear of the unknown and get to know other normal people around them even though they look different (I am not saying do not be careful, crime is a South African reality, but do not only watch the black man because it might be your white neighbour who steals from you. Crime has nothing to do with race). Come on, if my grandparents can do it then any other older person can do it. For the younger people I suggest this: stop believing everything that the older generation told you about ‘all white people’ or about ‘all black people’ and make up your own mind about who can be trusted and who cannot, again this can never be based on race but only on character.

South Africa is not the only nation struggling with this. The USA, with the Black Lives Matter movement, Britain, Germany, Israel, France, India are all countries (and these are only the ones I read about regularly, it is a worldwide phenomenon) where there is a daily struggle against racism and other forms of discrimination. The racial problems, like any other social problems of the world will not be solved any time soon. However, each of us, and especially those of us who honestly want to live the spiritual life, can do our small part in declaring peace, harmony, friendship, mutual respect and understanding. Each of us can act in small ways by speaking up against the uncle who cracks a racial joke at a family gathering, or defend a colleague who is being disrespected, or argue against the unnecessary accusations of racism (the so-called ‘playing the race card’).

Remember this, God made us all. We are all part of God. God is Light and in light all the colours are represented.

May the One God, with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.

The Meaning of Love

There are so many ways in which we use the word “love” these days that many of us cannot explain what exactly the meaning of love is. We “love” just about anything – our wives or husbands, our children, the cat or dog, the car and the house, KFC, or McDonalds… and we also say we love God. In all this confusion we also do not know if love is an emotion or something else, but we think we can switch it on and off depending on our current mood.

Growing up there were two things I was taught – ‘love your neighbour as yourself’ (for those who are reading carefully – the question here is: what does that even mean?) and ‘God so loved the world that He gave His only Son’. These two Biblical quotations were separate in my mind – on the one hand I must love my neighbour somehow and on the other hand God always loves me no matter what. This separation, I believe, is due to the illusion that we are separate from each other and from God – because that is what our eyes tells us. This is not true, because there is also the following thing that is taught – we must become more like Jesus and Jesus lives in our hearts.

As a child I could not bring these points together and plainly accepted it, but as an adult it bothered me. In Hinduism it is believed that God is not separate from us and neither are we separate from each other – the interconnectedness of all. God is a part of us, or we are a part of God, and by default we are a part of each other. In Judaism this is called ‘the Divine Spark in all of us’. If Jesus lives in our hearts, if God is a part of all beings, then we cannot live as if we are separated from each other – we need to love each other as if God Himself is standing in front of us.

Loving your neighbour (and to make this clear – neighbour does not only mean the person next to you but all beings you meet including enemies, animals, insects and so on) thus means loving your neighbour as God loves you. And, from a purely Christian point of view, God loves you with sacrifice. Now we can debate about how cruel it would be if we sacrificed our children for others and that we do not like this idea of a God killing His own Son. But to think like that is to miss the point entirely (no really, you should not sacrifice your children). From where I stand it does not matter whether the crucifixion happened or not (I am not saying it did not), what matters is that if you have never loved someone (including your spouse) until it hurts (not by actually hurting yourself or others but by giving things up that means a lot to you) then you have not really loved yet.

So now we can return to the question asked earlier – what does it even mean to love someone as you love yourself? In the simplest terms, it means that if you love to eat a big healthy meal (or even unhealthy for that matter) you would not give the homeless man in the street just dry bread and milk. Because, if you were that homeless person, even if you would be glad to receive the dry bread and milk, you would wish that someone would give you a big healthy meal. (Again, it is beside the point whether the homeless person should work or not – I will write about this in a later blog).

If you think that most of this is obvious then the question is – why do more of us, especially those of us who see ourselves as spiritual or religious, not do this? The answer is that it hurts, we do not like to make such sacrifices and we do not believe that we are a part of God. Before any fingers points at me – yes, I have tried it many times; I sort of got it right once or twice, I failed multiple times. Continuous effort is the key. This is one of many reasons why I write about it – to spread awareness and to encourage not only others but also myself.

Love does not stop when you said you will pray for the other person or when you gave the bare minimum, but I am also not saying that you must give so much that you do not have anything left. That is also not loving yourself, never mind the other. This is another point that needs to be addressed. While reading a book on the essence of Buddhism the author made an interesting point saying that it is all good and well that we should love our neighbour as ourselves, but what if the person does not love himself? What if the person is depressed? It will then mean that the depressed person, loving the other as he “loves” himself, will wish depression on that person. He then suggests compassion and loving-kindness as better terms. I both agree and disagree with the author to a certain extent.

A depressed person, or one that hates him- or herself, cannot love anyone, never mind talking about having compassion. At the same time, that is exactly what such persons wish on others. If we understand what it means to really love each other, including other beings, then it might not matter which term we prefer. However, the word “love” does bring up the idea of a deep emotional attachment. In this sense the word “compassion” is better as we can then have sympathy and empathy as well as sacrificing without getting attached to the person or being, which might lead to more suffering than anything else. Yet, that will still be a misunderstanding of what it means to really love, and this is where there needs to be a mind change.

Contrary to popular belief, love is not an emotion. Love is rather something we do; in other words, it is a verb. True love is to give or to do something without the expectation of return. Love is as simple as giving a glass of water to whoever asks for it without getting irritated, to give R2 to the person begging at the stop street. Or it is to exceed that person’s expectations and give him a big meal and R200. Love is an effort to reduce the suffering we cause animals and nature by our selfish ways by living more consciously. It is both within our means and outside our comfort zones.

May the One God with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.

Transformation Process from Omnivore to Vegan: The Personal Touch

I thought that Part Two in this series would be the last part, but my sisters reminded me that I have left out a particularly important component: the personal touch. How far am I in this journey from being an Omnivore to becoming a Vegan? One of my friends described themselves as “flexitarian” saying that they prefer going vegan or vegetarian but at the moment it is still difficult. I think this accurately describe my feet-in-two-worlds situation – I tip my hat at anyone who wakes up one day and decide their done with meat and animal products (or any other addiction for that matter).

So, my personal experience is that it is not easy, but looking back I can see that there was progress. Back when I were still staying in my hometown, I became convinced that vegetarian would be the way to go and I regularly discussed it with some friends. I was made fun of, which is fine by me, but unfortunately that meant no support at all. I knew no vegetarians or vegans personally so I could not ask for advice (I acknowledge that I did not think of Google).

As I read more about famous vegetarians – the likes of Mahatma Gandhi and Leo Tolstoy – I realized that I had to work in that direction, but I found myself failing time and again. I did, however, succeeded in becoming more of an environmentalist by refusing to kill insects unless it was necessary. I remember writing a small piece about how easy it is to love cats and dogs, but to feel nothing when it came to spiders and crickets (or feeling fear for these little creatures in some cases). My mom once joked, saying to one of her friends, “this one is so green…”.

Surprisingly, getting married helped a lot. I am enormously proud to brag that I have a supportive and understanding wife even though she finds some of my ideas a little over the top. When I told her that it has been a goal of mine to become at least vegetarian, if not full vegan, she immediately started to encourage me; and sometimes even admonished me if my actions contradicts my words. Two things she greatly helped me with was introducing the meatless Mondays and encouraging me to push the October Vegetarian month as far as possible (by the way – January is called Veganuary by vegans). Although my reasons are mostly spiritual in nature, my wife focus’ more on the health reasons and thus we try to combine my meatless times with more healthy eating in general. All this even though my wife is not a vegetarian and are not planning on becoming one.

In the meantime, I have made a list of different meats that I want to give up totally as time go by. This came about when I realized that my efforts to give up meat and other animal products all at once did not pay off and that perhaps a more gradual approach would work better. My list focus on meat specifically and are by no means scientific. In fact, I am still a long way from understanding the codes on the back of packages which are supposed to tell you if animal products were used (did you know, for instance, that animal products are used in soap and many cosmetics or in those delicious Jelly Babies?). To give myself time to get used to not eating a particular meat that I crossed of the list, I give up another form of meat every six months (perhaps I should shorten this time frame, but for now this is it). Thus, so far, I have given up eating fat, lamb, biltong (including droëwors, salami and so on) and patties (which means I gave up burgers).

Another surprising source of encouragement is my colleagues. Like any other group of South Africans, we are always on the lookout for a reason to have a small party where we all bring something to eat together before we begin with the day’s work. I must mention here that I am allergic for dairy products (for those who do not know – this is also an animal product) and you should think that this fact makes it easier for me to give it up, but alas I crave cheese a lot (and did I mention pizza?). Now, my colleagues know of my struggles to give up meat and diary products and one of them is a wonderful cook (he really should have been a chef and we are always full of praise for the dish he surprises us with). Before any event we planned he and my other colleagues always come to me to make sure which meat it is I do not eat and when they cook or bake something requiring dairy products, they make sure to use goat cheese for which I am not allergic (but which I will also eventually have to give up as I go full vegan). After this they always make sure not to bring those items – it is a joy to work with such colleagues.

By now I have also read more on what exactly goes into the production of meat and I am horrified. I am now appalled when I hear seemingly normal people (most of us in other words) talking with some enthusiasm about how animals are slaughtered for their meat, when the same person would not talk so casually if the same thing were done to a human. One person acknowledges that if she sees a chicken walk over the lawn and the host inform her that this will be the food for dinner, she become vegetarian for that night. Somehow, unfortunately, this does not translate to the packages we buy in the supermarket and I acknowledge I am as guilty. My choices are thus still very much influenced by this fallacy in my mind; when I must choose between an apple and a Vienna sausage then I will most probably find myself with a pack of viennas on the couch in front of the television.

Nowadays there is a lot of alternative products on the market. For instance, if you do not want to eat meat there is the option to buy tofu or soya. There are also processed foods which are made to look and taste like the real counterpart. Thus, you get vegan cheese, vegan patties, vegan sausages and even vegan biltong. These products can help a prospective vegan to ease the journey a bit as they look and taste more or less like the real deal (for those who grew up vegan or vegetarian – I would suggest you stay away from it). With this last warning in mind there are two unfortunate facts about these products. Firstly, they are quite expensive and thus where giving up meat may help your finances, going over to meat-like products does not. Secondly, it is highly processed foods which means it is also highly unhealthy (a real vegan or vegetarian diet is generally good healthy food).

This is then my difficulties and honest struggles as well as my proud little progress in the journey to become a more conscious consumer of food. It really is all about being aware of what we do to animals, the planet, other humans and ourselves. At the same time, it is an acknowledgement that human nature is frail, and that small steps and little seed may accumulate to bigger things with time. Thus, I hope that what I wrote here will serve as a planted seed that will bear fruit with time or serve as encouragement to not give up. Even if this was just an interesting read (or you vehemently disagree with everything I said or the way I go about my journey), I still hope that it will serve as food for thought.

May the One God with many Names and many Manifestations bless you