The Difficulty of a True Spiritual Life

If you think you’re so enlightened, go live with your family for two weeks. - Ram Dass

There seems to be an unconscious misconception that the spiritual life is limited to certain days of the week, perhaps some festivals, or certain specific practices such as meditation, Scripture reading or prayer. I do think that this might be more under the older generations and that the younger generations are increasingly changing their views, with many identifying as Spiritual but not Religious (SBNR). Then again it might just be a bias on my side as the change in views increased rapidly at least since the 1960’s (Ram Dass, who I quote above and who died in late 2019, grew up Jewish but became a Hindu around 1967). Of course, changing one’s views does not necessarily means that one suddenly lives a more spiritual life. What does it mean to live a spiritual life and why do I say this is difficult? The quote by Ram Dass is one of my favourites and one I always try to keep in mind. That is because the spiritual life might start with going to church on a Sunday or mosque on a Friday or personal meditation and prayer rituals in the morning, but after that the question becomes this – If those moments do not become clear in your public life, while you driving, spending time with family or doing your job, then what was it for? The spiritual life becomes difficult the moment you move out of your sacred space and into contact with other human beings (or any other beings for that matter). It is easier to stand with your eyes closed and hands in the air on a Sunday morning than it is to keep calm with traffic on the way home. We don’t even have to take it that far – most of us start gossiping or judging the moment we set foot out of Church (perhaps even while worshipping). It is easy to sit in front of your Scriptures and light a candle or incense stick and feel all tranquil, of course that is if you could leave the warmth of your bed in time, then one gets to work, and you must remember to smile at the annoying co-worker. A true spiritual life will be an important part of every decision you make, of every action taken, of every word said. It might not be possible to absolutely control your thoughts but what your reaction with your thoughts is should tell you something – do you stop it, or do you entertain it? “If your religion does not change you then you should change your religion,” said Elbert Hubbard. Rabbi Hillel is reported to have said that the Golden Rule (Do not do unto others that which you would not like them to do unto you) is the whole spiritual practice and that the rest of what we read and believe is only commentary on this rule. In other words, if you pray or do any kind of spiritual practice and you believe that what you believe is the only truth, but you give in to every desire and let your ego reign supreme with no compassion for most other people, then you have not even begun to live a spiritual life. All this can sound very discouraging, but honestly, I am trying to encourage you to pull up your socks and get serious, whatever your chosen path might be. That does not mean there can be no fun in life, but it does mean that we pay attention to how we are having fun. It is going to be difficult; you are going to fail on an almost daily basis. At the same time the alternative is to live an unexamined life and that, said Socrates, is not a life worth living. Fulfilment comes when we are constantly working on ourselves. “I want happiness” said someone to a Buddhist monk, “Take away ‘I’ as that is the ego, take away ‘want’ as that is desire and what is left is ‘happiness’”, answered the monk. Now that we are parents, my wife regularly says, “You know what, we should just forgive our parents”. There was a time that I was angry with my dad on an almost daily basis, and it did not help that he was a pastor. Then I became a dad, never mind the fact that I became a husband, and I realised that I must always watch myself. The moment I cannot answer in a soft manner, I cause hurt. The moment I react in an irritable manner, I cause hurt. Sitting down to meditate or pray after that makes me feel ashamed, so much so that I sometimes feel that perhaps it is better to just give up. I know, however, that the moment I stop working on myself I will do even worse. I hope and pray that, if I stay on living a true spiritual life, as difficult as it may be, one day my children will be able to forgive me. Rabbi Hillel ends his declaration on the Golden Rule with these words: “Now go study”. Whatever religion, spiritual part, or philosophy you follow – study hard and then act in compassion. I encourage you. May the One God, with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.