The Golden Rule - How should we act towards Others

The Golden Rule is known to most of us in either its negative or positive form: Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you, or vice versa, do not do unto others as you would not like them to do unto you. One interesting fact of this “rule” is that it appears in the Holy Scriptures of many religions. It sounds simple enough and yet, I doubt that any of us understand it in its deepest meaning. Those who meditate on it finds it a constant lesson in what it means to have empathy, be compassionate, and love all. Even harder to put into practice. A while ago I watched a program on Showmax about a guy who investigated the environmental impact of cattle ranches and the meat industry. At one stage he visited a so called “Green Ranch” where they claim that they raise and slaughter in an environmentally friendly way. Here he had a conversation with the little girl of the owners, and she said something to the effect that she shouldn’t name the animals as ‘you know, they’re going to become meat.’ Then he had a conversation with her mother who said: ‘We really love the animals, that is why we do it.’ It wasn’t said aloud but the implications of these two conversations immediately hit home: love them? Therefore, we slaughter them? I was wondering what the reaction of this mother would be if a close friend of their family said – ‘I am going to slaughter your daughter in front of you because I love you.’ Now, I am far from trying to convince anyone of right or wrong. You decide for yourself. What I am trying to say here is that living the Golden Rule is much harder that it sounds on first hearing. I was thinking, rethinking, and debating its meaning over the years and I’d like to present a few of these ideas to you. One of my earliest thoughts on this was regarding how we can help beggars who stand at traffic lights. Should we give them money, and how much, or not? The argument is that they will just buy alcohol and drugs instead of food. My first reaction is that doing that is between them and God as we did our duty, but then we are not really helping. So okay, perhaps not. We give them food then, right? (Many stories are told of angry beggars who just threw away the food but let’s go with it for a moment.) So, what food do we give them then? I’ve heard many people proudly saying that they bought them bread and milk. It is exactly here, however, where the Golden Rule problem comes in, because the next, inevitable question is my mind is: Is that what you would like to eat? Dry bread and a litre of milk? Back when I first had this thought, KFC was my favourite fast food or, if my mom was cooking the Sunday lunch (Boerekos né) – a large plate full of rice, potatoes, pumpkin, cream spinach with mushrooms, and chicken. Imagine your favourite food. Getting back to the Golden Rule with that in mind – why then give a beggar bread and milk? My next Golden Rule thought was about helping others. From the outset, don’t get me wrong – if someone falls into a swimming pool and is in danger of drowning, by all means jump in and save that person. But, when it comes to ideas and choices with which we disagree and in which we imagine there to be danger, it becomes a little more complicated. There is a saying that goes ‘you can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink.’ Still, we think it is okay to take the proverbial old lady by the arm and help her over the road without first asking her if she wants help in the first place. I hope you’re able to keep up with me here: as far as belief systems and ideas go, what we all want, I believe, is to be heard and understood. I always laugh at preachers who chase away Jehovah’s Witnesses when they knock on the door. Can it be annoying to have your resting time interrupted? Of course. But then the preachers should remember that they themselves wants to be heard the moment they get onto the pulpit. Here the Golden Rule connects with that other well-known verse: ‘You have two ears and one mouth, listen more, and speak less.’ One last thought. The Golden Rule is clear in saying that we should do to others what we want them to do to us. We know, however, that we all want different things in life and that things like love (think for instance about the book – The Five Languages of Love) and respect means different things to different people. Now, if I do something to someone else which I would like them to do to me, but they do not like that thing I am doing to them… then I’ve shot myself straight in the foot with this very same Golden Rule. Now what? Then I heard these interesting words said in a conversation between two rabbis: ‘It is true that the verse says that we should love others as we love ourselves, but for a deeper understanding of love we should love others as they would like to be loved themselves’. Perhaps the beggar previously mentioned loves bread and milk after all, perhaps the beggar absolutely hates the food I think is the best. And perhaps the best way to live the Golden Rule is to ask the other person what they would like, instead of assuming that we know best because of what we like. May the One God, with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you all.

The Meaning of Love

There are so many ways in which we use the word “love” these days that many of us cannot explain what exactly the meaning of love is. We “love” just about anything – our wives or husbands, our children, the cat or dog, the car and the house, KFC, or McDonalds… and we also say we love God. In all this confusion we also do not know if love is an emotion or something else, but we think we can switch it on and off depending on our current mood.

Growing up there were two things I was taught – ‘love your neighbour as yourself’ (for those who are reading carefully – the question here is: what does that even mean?) and ‘God so loved the world that He gave His only Son’. These two Biblical quotations were separate in my mind – on the one hand I must love my neighbour somehow and on the other hand God always loves me no matter what. This separation, I believe, is due to the illusion that we are separate from each other and from God – because that is what our eyes tells us. This is not true, because there is also the following thing that is taught – we must become more like Jesus and Jesus lives in our hearts.

As a child I could not bring these points together and plainly accepted it, but as an adult it bothered me. In Hinduism it is believed that God is not separate from us and neither are we separate from each other – the interconnectedness of all. God is a part of us, or we are a part of God, and by default we are a part of each other. In Judaism this is called ‘the Divine Spark in all of us’. If Jesus lives in our hearts, if God is a part of all beings, then we cannot live as if we are separated from each other – we need to love each other as if God Himself is standing in front of us.

Loving your neighbour (and to make this clear – neighbour does not only mean the person next to you but all beings you meet including enemies, animals, insects and so on) thus means loving your neighbour as God loves you. And, from a purely Christian point of view, God loves you with sacrifice. Now we can debate about how cruel it would be if we sacrificed our children for others and that we do not like this idea of a God killing His own Son. But to think like that is to miss the point entirely (no really, you should not sacrifice your children). From where I stand it does not matter whether the crucifixion happened or not (I am not saying it did not), what matters is that if you have never loved someone (including your spouse) until it hurts (not by actually hurting yourself or others but by giving things up that means a lot to you) then you have not really loved yet.

So now we can return to the question asked earlier – what does it even mean to love someone as you love yourself? In the simplest terms, it means that if you love to eat a big healthy meal (or even unhealthy for that matter) you would not give the homeless man in the street just dry bread and milk. Because, if you were that homeless person, even if you would be glad to receive the dry bread and milk, you would wish that someone would give you a big healthy meal. (Again, it is beside the point whether the homeless person should work or not – I will write about this in a later blog).

If you think that most of this is obvious then the question is – why do more of us, especially those of us who see ourselves as spiritual or religious, not do this? The answer is that it hurts, we do not like to make such sacrifices and we do not believe that we are a part of God. Before any fingers points at me – yes, I have tried it many times; I sort of got it right once or twice, I failed multiple times. Continuous effort is the key. This is one of many reasons why I write about it – to spread awareness and to encourage not only others but also myself.

Love does not stop when you said you will pray for the other person or when you gave the bare minimum, but I am also not saying that you must give so much that you do not have anything left. That is also not loving yourself, never mind the other. This is another point that needs to be addressed. While reading a book on the essence of Buddhism the author made an interesting point saying that it is all good and well that we should love our neighbour as ourselves, but what if the person does not love himself? What if the person is depressed? It will then mean that the depressed person, loving the other as he “loves” himself, will wish depression on that person. He then suggests compassion and loving-kindness as better terms. I both agree and disagree with the author to a certain extent.

A depressed person, or one that hates him- or herself, cannot love anyone, never mind talking about having compassion. At the same time, that is exactly what such persons wish on others. If we understand what it means to really love each other, including other beings, then it might not matter which term we prefer. However, the word “love” does bring up the idea of a deep emotional attachment. In this sense the word “compassion” is better as we can then have sympathy and empathy as well as sacrificing without getting attached to the person or being, which might lead to more suffering than anything else. Yet, that will still be a misunderstanding of what it means to really love, and this is where there needs to be a mind change.

Contrary to popular belief, love is not an emotion. Love is rather something we do; in other words, it is a verb. True love is to give or to do something without the expectation of return. Love is as simple as giving a glass of water to whoever asks for it without getting irritated, to give R2 to the person begging at the stop street. Or it is to exceed that person’s expectations and give him a big meal and R200. Love is an effort to reduce the suffering we cause animals and nature by our selfish ways by living more consciously. It is both within our means and outside our comfort zones.

May the One God with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.

We are the Virus: Fear and Ignorance

From March until August 2020 I, along with many other South Africans, have been forced to stay at home due to the lockdown against the COVID19 pandemic. While some of us had by now returned to work many still stay at or work from home. When watching the news, it is clear though that not all people adhere to the lockdown rules, in fact there are some who still do not believe there is a pandemic at all.

I have returned to work on the 31^st of August, as it is not exactly possible to, as a library assistant, work from home. However, the time I was forced to stay at home were pleasant – most of all I had the opportunity to witness the first six months of my newborn baby’s life (a privilege many fathers do not have). I also had a lot of time, and truly little excuse, to focus on intense study, meditation and fasting. I know that the experience, for many heartbreaking reasons, was or are not as pleasant for many others.

As I contemplated these times we live in, I realize that there is another part of the pandemic many of us do not see or prefer to ignore. The virus itself, whether we are responsible for its genesis or not, is plainly what it is – it infects people and while some survive many dies. As human beings we do not have the same excuse, to say we do what we do because we are what we are implies that we do not have the capacity to think or the conscience to realize the consequences of our actions. The ‘I am only human’ excuse simply does not work.

And yet this is exactly how many of us conduct our lives – living (existing?) from day to day without questioning deeply our own motives and actions. My mother, a very wise woman, told me sadly that, “there are many things with which we live past each other, things we do not even think to find out… we just live… everyone in his or her own bubble”. She said this with regard to knowledge of certain subjects, but I think she will agree with me that it is equally true of thousands of small daily things over which we never stop to think why it is that we do it.

This is what makes us, the human species, the actual virus – a virus which can think but either prefer not to or prefer using the capability to consciously act in ways which will cause trouble to all of us on a later stage. Never mind the big things though, the fact that we are the cause of erosion, global warming, famine and other cruelties to mention only a few. Individually we make millions of choices daily which we unconsciously teach our children, and which adds up to become major problems in the long run.

A few years ago, I was using the train to go and visit my parents. While waiting for the arrival of the train I walked around on station observing people, an interesting pastime. So, at one stage I saw a mother and her small child, I would guess the boy were about three or four years of age, leaning against a half-empty dustbin eating some snacks. After eating they walked about three meters to the railroad track and threw the plastic containers on the track, then walked back to the half-empty dustbin and continue leaning on it. I was dumbfounded.

We humans seems, in essence, to be extremely selfish and self-absorbed. Someone once said that crowds are stupid, but personally I do not think that we fare much better individually – it is just easier to see the stupidity of the crowds. Some argue that they cannot do something to, for instance, stop pollution. However, looking at the actions of these very same people, they pollute with the same argument in mind – how can my own personal polluting cause massive pollution, I am only one person. In other words, we do not stand up to do something about the problems facing the world because we feel inferior while at the same time, in our personal lives, we act so superior that we are the very cause of those problems.

We refuse to see it because we are comfortable. There is a South African joke on politicians in government – a decision are made by some politician which is then contested in court, the court orders the politician to rectify the problem within, say, five years’ time… the politician then calculate that by that time he will not be in the position to correct it anymore and thus he agree to what the court says without any intention of actually obeying making it, in effect, someone else’s problem. It is not only politicians that act this way. Many of us do know what the effects will be if we continue wasting water and electricity – we complain about load shedding but make no effort to switch of the light when we exit the room – or continue polluting, but we also know that by the time those problems hit home we may not be around anymore (you do realize that load shedding is one example of such a problem? – for all the mistakes Eskom made and continue to make, we each have our own part in this). Even closer to our bodies, we know what the consequences will be for our bad eating habits and lack of exercise but we reckon that by the time it becomes a problem we would have lived our lives satisfactorily. Then we still act surprised when we are diagnosed with various types of sicknesses.

On the other hand, many of us fool ourselves into thinking that it is enough to give some money to some far off charity organization while we continue to do some of the very things those organizations are trying to stop. Giving the money is not the problem, fooling ourselves into thinking that that is the only thing we need to do is. Then there are also some of us who do give some money to some organization, even if it is through a backdoor way via playing lottery or buying at our favorite supermarket, only because we get something in return – points, the chance to win a competition, or discount on our shopping. It is as if we must be begged to do the right thing. And thank God we do not have to get our hands dirty. Then, on another front, there are those who raise awareness for some or other noble cause. Raising the awareness is not a problem, it is an exceptionally good thing as it would hopefully force some people to think. The problem come in when those who join the campaigns do so only to wear certain clothing, buying a pin or putting cloth around a tree. Again, people must be begged only to become nominally involved.

What is needed is some real action. Why not start a campaign yourself, for a chance, within your own area? Sure, that might be aiming a bit high for a start, but still there are many things many of us can do, on our own or with someone else, which will be small steps in the right direction. For starters, and as far as is financially possible, find out where better choices can be made within your own life and home. Safe water by showering for a maximum of two minutes, not only because this will also safe you some money but because it will do wonders to the environment which you may never even realize. Don’t know where to start? As a library assistant I can assure you there are many books in the library and websites on the internet which will give you easy tips. Besides this, there are also many events, such as Earth Hour where all electrical appliances are switched of for an hour, which are designed to help you getting into the habit of a more sustainable lifestyle.

My point with all this is that we made ourselves the biggest virus the world has ever seen simply through our fear and ignorance. My own journey into realization of my place and purpose on earth and in this life started when I began to seriously contemplate what it is to love, to have compassion, to live in harmony. Reading the Holy Scriptures of various religious traditions and the books written about it, helped me conclude that concepts such as love, compassion and harmony does not stop at ourselves, our family and our friends. It continues towards those we do not like, those we hate, complete strangers… and then further to all other beings no matter how small or big or irritating. It reaches into every single action we perform, every single choice we make or word we say. Contemplate this long enough and you will know that it was never going to be easy. But the alternative of living in a vacuum is so much worse.

May the One God with many Names and many Manifestations, bless you.

Making of an Omnist

At various times I've been called a Satanist, Atheist and Freethinker, all because I confessed not to believe exactly the same things as the person with who I was in conversation (usually a Christian), but more importantly that I do not refer to myself as Christian. Instead of asking me what I do call myself and what I do believe, the person prefer to make assumptions. Why is it easier to make an assumption rather than asking a question? I'm sure there's some sociological answer to that. In reality, however, I self-identify as Omnist.

What this means (for me)

An Omnist is, plainly said, someone who believe that there is truth in all religions or that all religions contains something of the truth and no religion have the absolute Truth. In this sense anyone who see themselves as Omnist will probably believe different than the next Omnist. In my humble opinion I think that is true of most religions - place a hundred Christians from the same denominational tradition next to each other and you will find something that someone believe different despite the fact that the main points may be the same.

I believe that God is One with many Names and many Manifestations. What I mean by this is that God does not only have Judeo-Christian Names (such as JHWH, Jehovah, Elohim, El-Shadai, Jesus, Christ etc) but that all Names in the various religions belongs to God and thus Allah, Nam, Krishna, Ganesh and Buddha are legitimate Names for God. I like to try and find the meaning behind the Name or the reasons for the Name, which then clarify why that Name is appropriate as a Name of God. Ganesh, for instance, is the Remover of obstacles and Buddha means enlightened.

As for the Manifestations, God manifested in various ways in different times and places to different people. So God was in the burning bush with Moses or as Jesus Christ for the Christians, or as Krishna and Shiva in India and so forth. These are not many different gods, but as I see it, One God manifesting in different forms and different ways but for the same purpose. That purpose, I believe, is Love. The reason God manifest differently to different people is because people all over the world have different understandings of what life is. So, for instance, Christians cannot understand why God would manifest as an elephant (they do understand a lion though), Hindus do not understand why God would want to die and then live again (in popular culture that is a zombie after all). Another example is Western Christians having an aversion to the Name Allah (because "it is a Muslim god") but Arabian Christians have no problem calling God by that Name.

I will post about this in coming blogs, but please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like for clarity in the comment area below.



The history

So how did I arrive at this point in my spiritual journey? I grew up in a religiously conservative Afrikaans home. As my dad is a pastor, I practically grew up in the church, specifically the Pentecostal tradition. As a big bookworm I was always reading and at one time my dad told me that I should not forget to read the Bible. I end up reading the Bible, from beginning to end, quite a few times. All this reading also gave me a love for thinking and putting ideas together.

When I was in high school I wanted to become a missionary in order to save the "heathen" from the "demons they worshiped". This idea was greatly encouraged in my family, but it also lead to the idea that I should know something about these religions. At first I read books about other religions written by Christians but, much later, I would realise that this is biased and I started to read books about other religions written by those belonging to those faiths.

In the meantime, as a normal teenager, I started seeing differences in what Christians say and what they do. My relationship with my dad was not always good and I acknowledge that the anger I felt send me in different directions. At one stage I was angry with God because of my dad, but would soon realise that people, myself included, make many mistakes. Forgiveness, I read, is setting someone else free just to realise that you yourself were the prisoner. It did help me, however, to see things in a different light. With different perspectives I were able to see other religions in the light they see it and also to look at Christianity from the point of view of non-Christians. Today I can do this without anger or bitterness at anyone.

After school I wanted to study Religions (UNISA offers a course called Religious Studies, many confuse this with Theology). My dad suggested I first study Theology. As I were still very much Christian and very conservative (not to mention bigoted) and because I saw Theology, which is the study of God from Christian point of view, as another aspect of religion - I agreed. Studying Theology made me think even more that there is something wrong with the whole "there is only one way" - "turn or burn" concept. I did later study Religious Studies and plan to take these studies further somewhere in the future.

My search led me from conservative Christianity to a more liberal form, then on to deism, Buddhism, Hinduism, the Baha'i Faith and Unitarian Universalism. After a while I realised that there is no one religion with which I am able to agree with completely. I continued to read widely and even started to collect the Holy Scriptures of various religions. While reading I was always praying and thinking and while doing that I decided at each new point what I believe and what I disagree with. In reading and studying religions I came upon such terms as syncretism, eclecticism and universalism as well as the concept of the perennial philosophy. Each of these describe a different form of comparison or similarities or mixing of religions.

At last I came upon the term Omnism and in that found the term with which I am most comfortable to identify and within which I continue to develop my thinking. With this term I also grow spiritually every day. Spirituality, how we get closer to God, is a choice each of us have to make daily. As with everything in the world there is things that work for one person but not at all for another. Therefor it is not wrong to stay within one religion, you can even be an Omnist while only practicing one religion. Those who say they are more spiritual than religious like to say - "Religion is following the ideas of others, spirituality is experiencing for yourself".

Omnism is not a religion as such but more a believe system. One or other spiritual leader, I forgot who, said: "If you are a Christian, be the best Christian you can be. If you are Muslim, be the best Muslim you can be. If you are Hindu, be the best Hindu you can be". For me that is to grow spiritually as much as I can, to practice as regularly as I can, to accept that my views are not the only right views and may well be wrong and to always live the love of God towards all beings.

Where I am today

The spiritual journey is one that never ends (it might even continue after this present life is over). Whichever road you decide on, whether that is one which has been walked for millennia by millions of practitioners or one yet to be discovered - give it all your energy.

Much of my thoughts are still very much influenced by Christianity but a large part of my spiritual practice includes Hindu and Buddhist ideas and practices. I meditate and pray regularly. I love going on meditation retreats. I visit churches and temples. I worship, listening to the songs sang in different traditions. I read various Holy Scriptures, I’ve never stopped reading the Bible but I also read the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Book of Mormon, the Tao te Ching and various others. And above all I try to live the love of God towards all beings.

My ideas around religion and spirituality constantly change and I may look back on this blog in a few years and totally disagree (or not). God however, as Christians love to remind us, is the same yesterday, today and forever. But think about this – if God is greater than we can ever imagine, is it not possible that we still have much more to learn about Him (or Her or It) than what is possible to know in any one religion?

May the One God with many Names and many Manifestations bless you